I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who.
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold.
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here.
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
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