If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
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