I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats.
Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money.
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.
Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.
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