My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness.
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone.
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end.
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice?
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow.
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.
I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
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