Anonymous Quote

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Anonymous

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.

Anonymous

As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.

Tom Goins

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store.

Anonymous

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Anonymous

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Charles M. Schulz

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Erma Bombeck

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

Art Buchwald

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

Anonymous

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....

Charles M. Schulz

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Dave Barry

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

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If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.

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