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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

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The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous

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Beer together

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous

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Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous

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I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous

Drinking Statements

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous

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Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. - Anonymous

Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. Anonymous

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Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. - Anonymous

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Anonymous

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Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous

Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous

Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Drinking Work Quotes

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry

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In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. Anonymous

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What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous

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I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer. Anonymous

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If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. - Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Anonymous

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Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous

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Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me. Anonymous

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Covid Health tip: If you hold a can of beer in both hands, you can't touch your face. Anonymous

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The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. - Charles M. Schulz

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz

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