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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

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In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

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What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.

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How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

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I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

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Beer together

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.

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Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

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If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. - Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

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Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.

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The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

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I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. - Charles M. Schulz

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Charles M. Schulz

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If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

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Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. - Art Buchwald

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

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The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

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I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

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I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

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That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....

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If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

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