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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

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Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.

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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

Beer together

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. - Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

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I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. - Charles M. Schulz

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Charles M. Schulz

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? - Edgar Bergen

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Simpsons

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.

William Charles Dement

The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.

The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.

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