Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
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He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
I am too lazy to be lazy.
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
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