Steven Alexander Wright Quote
When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.