CoolFunnyQuotes.com Quote

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

Anonymous

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Dave Barry

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

Anonymous

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

Anonymous

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

Anonymous

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

Anonymous

If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday!

Anonymous

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.

Anonymous

Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.

Anonymous

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

Anonymous

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.

Anonymous

Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.

Anonymous

If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Anonymous