Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. - Anonymous
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. - Anonymous
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
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I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
Analogies Sleep Quotes Top 100
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
Just because it's a bad idea doesn't mean it won't be a good time. - Anonymous
Just because it's a bad idea doesn't mean it won't be a good time. Anonymous
Good Quotes Short Quotes
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion. Anonymous
Facebook Moments Short Quotes
You can teach a cat to do...
You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes
My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.
My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
Your cake
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous
Eat Quotes Good Quotes Sayings
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. - Anonymous
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! - Anonymous
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! Anonymous
Facebook Top 100

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