Anonymous Quote

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

Steven Alexander Wright

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

Anonymous

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Steven Alexander Wright

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.

Anonymous

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.

Anonymous

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Anonymous

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

Steven Alexander Wright

Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.

Anonymous

Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill.

Anonymous

If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?

Anonymous

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?

Anonymous

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.

Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Anonymous

Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?

Anonymous

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?

Anonymous

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

Anonymous