I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that.
I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.
I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!!
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating.
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