Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. Anonymous
Phone
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. - Anonymous
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Wise Quotes
A text message can lead to a date, which can lead to a kiss, and a wonderful night together. Will you text me? - Anonymous
A text message can lead to a date, which can lead to a kiss, and a wonderful night together. Will you text me? Anonymous
Love Quotes
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Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not. - Anonymous
Did a cartwheel the other day, thinking it was like riding a bike. It's not. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive. Anonymous
People Quotes
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle. Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. - Anonymous
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Next time I lose my mind I swear I'm not even going to look for it any more. - Anonymous
Next time I lose my mind I swear I'm not even going to look for it any more. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. - Anonymous
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. - Anonymous
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. - Anonymous
I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from. - Anonymous
My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from. Anonymous
Analogies Internet
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. - Anonymous
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. Anonymous
Facebook People Quotes Top 100
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. - Anonymous
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. Anonymous
TV Quotes

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