Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Think Quotes
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. Anonymous
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. - Anonymous
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. Anonymous
Statements
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Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Moments TV Quotes
Prescribed laughter
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. Anonymous
Animals Sayings Short Quotes
Some people have "aha" moments, I just have "Oh Seriously?" moments. - Anonymous
Some people have "aha" moments, I just have "Oh Seriously?" moments. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! - Anonymous
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes People Quotes
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. - Anonymous
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Top 100
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. - Anonymous
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes Top 100
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. - Anonymous
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive. Anonymous
People Quotes
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind! Anonymous

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