Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.
I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.
After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF !
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over.
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal.
Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'?
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend.
Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back.
Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
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