Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face. Anonymous
Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'? Anonymous
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Anonymous
Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Anonymous
I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE. CoolFunnyQuotes.com