Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study. Anonymous
People Quotes
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. - Anonymous
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous
Drinking Sayings
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I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. - Anonymous
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Time Quotes
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. - Anonymous
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! - Anonymous
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. - Anonymous
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. - Anonymous
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? - Anonymous
"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. Anonymous
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. - Anonymous
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? - Anonymous
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes

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