The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.
Never forget those who helped you along the way... Google, Wikipedia and Dictionary.
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it.
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
Louis Hector Berlioz
Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.
Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I'm with you.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.
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