A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
I finally found love... in Webster's dictionary, page 357 at the bottom right.
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade."
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.
Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.
Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves.
People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there.
You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold.
I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
Smile like a monkey with a new banana.
Listen, before I had my coffee I didn't know how awesome I was going to be today either.
If there's no love in the world,... let's make some.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
If you're all wrapped up in yourself then you are overdressed.
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
If one door closes and another door opens... your house is probably haunted.
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that.
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
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