Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. - Anonymous
My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." - Anonymous
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." Anonymous
Know Quotes Wise Quotes
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Top 100
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Never ask a starfish for directions. - Anonymous
Never ask a starfish for directions. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
Be happy, it drives people crazy. - Anonymous
Be happy, it drives people crazy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!"
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!" Anonymous
Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through. - Anonymous
Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. - Anonymous
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Life Quotes
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. Anonymous
Animals Top 100 Witty Quotes
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. - Anonymous
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes Top 100

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