Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Do you ever go out, and then something happens ...

Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'? Anonymous

Questions Think Quotes Top 100

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous

Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but I'm still going to keep looking. - Anonymous

Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but I'm still going to keep looking. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Anonymous

Happy Quotes People Quotes Sayings

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. - Anonymous

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous

Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.

Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games.

I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games. Anonymous

Computers Life Quotes

Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.

Out of my mind! Back in five minutes. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up! - Anonymous

You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up! Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

Life is too short to worry about matching socks. - Anonymous

Life is too short to worry about matching socks. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. - Anonymous

For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. Anonymous

Love Quotes People Quotes

I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. - Anonymous

I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. Anonymous

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. - Anonymous

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. Anonymous

I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself, no matter what it takes. - Anonymous

I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself, no matter what it takes. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from. - Anonymous

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from. Anonymous

Analogies Internet

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. - Anonymous

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

Age only matters if you are a cheese.

Age only matters if you are a cheese. Anonymous

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. - Anonymous

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100