Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'd take a nerf bullet for you. - Anonymous
I'd take a nerf bullet for you. Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous
Life Quotes Marriage Quotes
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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I'm not feeling very worky today. - Anonymous
I'm not feeling very worky today. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. - Anonymous
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. - Anonymous
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late. - Anonymous
I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." - Anonymous
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous
Statements
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous
When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. - Anonymous
Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. - Anonymous
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it." - Anonymous
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it." Anonymous
Know Quotes
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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