Anonymous Funny Quotes

Home / Authors / Anonymous / Page 37

A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. - Anonymous

Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day.

Life Quotes

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.

When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.

When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. - Anonymous

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.

Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. - Anonymous

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.

My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." - Anonymous

My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? - Anonymous

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?

Life is too short to worry about matching socks. - Anonymous

Life is too short to worry about matching socks.

Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular? - Anonymous

Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If every day is a gift, then today I got socks. - Anonymous

If every day is a gift, then today I got socks.

Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home. - Anonymous

Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home.

Growing up is amazing, until you get old!

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is a big plus. - Anonymous

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.

Never forget those who helped you along the way... Google, Wikipedia and Dictionary.

It doesn't matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.

Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. - Anonymous

Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.

You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. - Anonymous

You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired. - Anonymous

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. - Anonymous

I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it.

Stupid Quotes

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.

Moments

Never judge a book by it's movie - Anonymous

Never judge a book by it's movie