Latest quotes in the order they were added.
Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face.
Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.
If you think nobody cares that you're alive try missing a couple of payments.
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
It's hard to find a friend who is 95% talented, 96% funny, 98% loving, 99% intelligent and 100% sweet. So don't you dare lose me!
I wonder what people do with all the time they save by writing "K" instead of "OK."
Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.
Be kind to people, and if that's too much to ask for then just be weird to people. It's the least you can do.
One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
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