Latest Funny Quotes

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Latest quotes in the order they were added.

You know you're mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs. Anonymous

When I take a shower I'm: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions. Anonymous

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

There's a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunk down at the circus. Anonymous

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

It's always fun listening to someone's lie when you already know the truth. Anonymous

I couldn't work today because I had an eye problem.. I simply couldn't see myself working today. Anonymous

If you like water then you already like 70% of me. Anonymous

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. - Anonymous

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport. Anonymous

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