Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous

I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. - Anonymous

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Anonymous

I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. - Anonymous

I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes

There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka. - Anonymous

There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. - Anonymous

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. Anonymous

You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up! - Anonymous

You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up! Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. - Anonymous

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. Anonymous

Life Quotes Moments Top 100

You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! - Anonymous

You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous

I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. - Anonymous

I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it. - Anonymous

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous

Money Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous

Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous

We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Anonymous

Life Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. - Anonymous

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. - Anonymous

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

Friendship quote - Real friends walks in when the rest walk out

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Short Quotes World Quotes

Age only matters if you are a cheese.

Age only matters if you are a cheese. Anonymous

Do you ever go out, and then something happens ...

Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'? Anonymous

Questions Think Quotes Top 100

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. Anonymous

I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games.

I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games. Anonymous

Computers Life Quotes