Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. - Anonymous
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. Anonymous
Moments Work Quotes
What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes...
What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes... But enough about me, how are you doing? Anonymous
People Quotes
The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur. - Anonymous
The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
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Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. - Anonymous
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Eat Quotes
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous
Computers Top 100
That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said. - Anonymous
That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said. Anonymous
Moments
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! - Anonymous
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. - Anonymous
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Stupid Quotes
I end all my sentences with "Just saying.." because ending them with "You bonehead.." would probably be considered offensive. Anonymous
People Quotes
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. Anonymous
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. - Anonymous
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! - Anonymous
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! Anonymous
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