Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
I feel the best when I am happy.
I feel the best when I am happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
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I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. - Anonymous
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Statements Top 100
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. - Anonymous
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff. - Anonymous
Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. - Anonymous
It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. Anonymous
Good Quotes Love Quotes
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous
Money Quotes People Quotes Sayings
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Anonymous
Man Quotes Questions
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. - Anonymous
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes

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