A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there.
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep.
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all.
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
If only my teeth were as white as my legs.
"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something?
I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
I don't know what's tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that.
Luckiness top moment: To get run over by an ambulance.
For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart.
Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.
Smile while you still have teeth.
What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it.
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test.
I'm not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake.
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