Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky. - Anonymous
I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Wise Quotes
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Know Quotes Questions Short Quotes
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous
Moments Money Quotes
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I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you. - Anonymous
I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. - Anonymous
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. Anonymous
Phone Short Quotes
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. - Anonymous
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. Anonymous
Short Quotes
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Top 100
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous
Animals People Quotes Short Quotes
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. - Anonymous
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. Anonymous
Facebook Internet Life Quotes
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes Top 100
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Top 100
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements

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