Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. - Anonymous

No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. - Anonymous

An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Statements

Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! - Anonymous

Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season. - Anonymous

I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season. Anonymous

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. - Anonymous

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. Anonymous

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?

Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna? Anonymous

People Quotes Questions Short Quotes

You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. - Anonymous

You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink. - Anonymous

You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes

What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes...

What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes... But enough about me, how are you doing? Anonymous

I haven't tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor.. so I'm sure I wouldn't like Yoga. - Anonymous

I haven't tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor.. so I'm sure I wouldn't like Yoga. Anonymous

Happy New Year! Here's to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons. Anonymous

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. - Anonymous

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How does the confused dog bark? Wutf? Wutf?
Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Questions

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. - Anonymous

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

You're never too old to do goofy stuff. - Anonymous

You're never too old to do goofy stuff. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... - Anonymous

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. - Anonymous

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. Anonymous

Me sarcastic? Never. - Anonymous

Me sarcastic? Never. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely! - Anonymous

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely! Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes

I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. - Anonymous

I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. Anonymous

Top 100 Witty Quotes World Quotes

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. - Anonymous

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes

Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. - Anonymous

Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes