Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.
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When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
New year resolutions you can actually keep! Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more. Go shopping more often. Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers. Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits. Do less exercise and watch more TV.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake.
Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week.
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.
You never run out of things that can go wrong.
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.
