Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." - Anonymous
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous
Statements
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. - Anonymous
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
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I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car. Anonymous
Man Quotes Marriage Quotes
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. - Anonymous
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes People Quotes
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. - Anonymous
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Statements
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'
I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous
Computers Top 100
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous
When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. - Anonymous
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Anonymous
Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Never Quotes
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. - Anonymous
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. Anonymous
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