Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried." - Anonymous
I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried." Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
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I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. - Anonymous
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. - Anonymous
Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Dog Quotes
Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous
Drinking Statements
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
Top 100 Work Quotes
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. - Anonymous
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I feel the best when I am happy.
I feel the best when I am happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular? - Anonymous
Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. - Anonymous
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Statements
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. - Anonymous
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

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