Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's like 7 years in a row now. Anonymous
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. - Anonymous
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. Anonymous
Animals Know Quotes
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I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. - Anonymous
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday. Anonymous
Short Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. - Anonymous
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Time Quotes
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. - Anonymous
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. Anonymous
Life Quotes
One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says "Smell this," it usually smells nice. Anonymous
Life Quotes Man Quotes
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Top 100
It's really complicated to make something simple.
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous
Sayings Statements Top 100
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100 Work Quotes

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