Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. - Anonymous
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt. Anonymous
Facebook
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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu. One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment. Anonymous
Questions
Going in a teen's room is like going to Ikea. You pop in to take a look and come out with 4 bowls, 6 cups, a set of plates, and some cutlery. Anonymous
Got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired, so I put the block back in the toy box. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
A man's home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary. Anonymous
Man Quotes Short Quotes
Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes. - Anonymous
When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes. Anonymous
Short Quotes
If you like water then you already like 70% of me. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup. - Anonymous
Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Good morning self-isolation inmates! Anyone know how much vodka goes in scrambled eggs? - Anonymous
Good morning self-isolation inmates! Anyone know how much vodka goes in scrambled eggs? Anonymous
Eat Quotes Good Quotes
I'm so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over. Anonymous
Short Quotes
If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport. Anonymous
Short Quotes
When I take a shower I'm: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions. Anonymous
Life Quotes

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