Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
It's hard to find a friend who is 95% talented, 96% funny, 98% loving, 99% intelligent and 100% sweet. So don't you dare lose me! Anonymous
Friend Quotes
Dear Humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet.
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. Anonymous
Computers Internet Top 100
I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Life Quotes
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes TV Quotes
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. - Anonymous
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. Anonymous
Internet Life Quotes
Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway. Anonymous
Drinking People Quotes Short Quotes
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic. - Anonymous
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. - Anonymous
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. - Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
Know Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can't make coffee without water. Anonymous
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Statements
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
Sayings
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? - Anonymous
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. - Anonymous
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! - Anonymous
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! Anonymous
Facebook Top 100
When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous
When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous
When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous
Good Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" - Anonymous
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" Anonymous
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. - Anonymous
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100

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