Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

Anonymous

Short QuotesSayings
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Anonymous

Short QuotesStupid QuotesTop 100
A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked. - Anonymous

A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even though they know you're slightly cracked.

Anonymous

Good QuotesFriend Quotes
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

Anonymous

Wise QuotesSayingsNever Quotes

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Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

Anonymous

Short QuotesWise QuotesFacebook
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

Anonymous

Short QuotesLife Quotes
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Anonymous

SayingsSleep Quotes
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.

Anonymous

Short QuotesSayings
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them. - Anonymous

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.

Anonymous

Short QuotesTop 100
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous

I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Anonymous

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A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. - Anonymous

A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.

Anonymous

Short QuotesAnalogies
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

Anonymous

Short QuotesAnimalsDog Quotes
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

Anonymous

Short QuotesSayings
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

Anonymous

Love QuotesMoney Quotes
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Anonymous

Short QuotesAnimalsComputers
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

Anonymous

Top 100Sayings
Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

Anonymous

Short QuotesMomentsEat Quotes
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. - Anonymous

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse.

Anonymous

Short QuotesMarriage QuotesTop 100

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