Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. - Anonymous
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. Anonymous
They say money doesn't solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine. Anonymous
Money Quotes
I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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Be bold, be italic, but never regular. - Anonymous
Be bold, be italic, but never regular. Anonymous
Life Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes
Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week. - Anonymous
Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week. Anonymous
TV Quotes
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation. - Anonymous
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. - Anonymous
I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it. Anonymous
Analogies Sayings Top 100
I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season. - Anonymous
I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season. Anonymous
Math Quotes
Going in a teen's room is like going to Ikea. You pop in to take a look and come out with 4 bowls, 6 cups, a set of plates, and some cutlery. Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. - Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
Know Quotes Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous
Statements Stupid Quotes
I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. - Anonymous
I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
If I'm constantly bothering you, it means you're an important person. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them... They're just looking for their brain. Anonymous

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