Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Top 100 Wife Quotes
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. Anonymous
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous
Work Quotes
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I'm always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Smile like a monkey with a new banana. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. - Anonymous
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. - Anonymous
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. - Anonymous
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt. Anonymous
Facebook
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. - Anonymous
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. - Anonymous
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. Anonymous
Internet Life Quotes
They say money doesn't solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine. Anonymous
Money Quotes
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy. - Anonymous
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. - Anonymous
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. Anonymous
Life Quotes

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