Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. - Anonymous
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
Questions
Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I'm single because I'm a superhero. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! - Anonymous
The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Be kind to people, and if that's too much to ask for then just be weird to people. It's the least you can do. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Stupid Quotes
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. - Anonymous
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. - Anonymous
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Short Quotes
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. - Anonymous
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right. - Anonymous
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes

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