Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.
To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top. Anonymous
Animals Funny Tree Quotes Good Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
That moment you're thankful for Coronavirus social distancing rules because you just ate some garlic. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Statements
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
Top 100
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could! Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. - Anonymous
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. Anonymous
Internet Top 100 Witty Quotes
A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own.
A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes Top 100
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100 Work Quotes
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. - Anonymous
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! - Anonymous
After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
Sayings
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans. - Anonymous
You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans. Anonymous
Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? - Anonymous
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Anonymous
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