Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Think Quotes
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. - Anonymous
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard. Anonymous
Life Quotes
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? - Anonymous
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. Anonymous
Phone
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge. - Anonymous
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. - Anonymous
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous

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