A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late.
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt.
Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face.
Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who.
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic.
And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu. One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!"
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word.
You can't run through a campground. You can only "ran," because it's past tents.
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet.
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.
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