Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous
Good Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes Top 100
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
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Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. - Anonymous
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. Anonymous
Top 100 Work Quotes
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous
Questions Sayings
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous
You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
Sayings
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Top 100
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Know Quotes
The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window. - Anonymous
The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window. Anonymous
Computers Short Quotes
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100
I couldn't work today because I had an eye problem.. I simply couldn't see myself working today. Anonymous
Work Quotes
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People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive. Anonymous
Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100
A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own.
A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. Anonymous
Phone
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
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