Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." - Anonymous

I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." Anonymous

Facebook Top 100

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation? Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes

I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! - Anonymous

I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive. Anonymous

Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves. Anonymous

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... - Anonymous

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... Anonymous

People Quotes Phone Stupid Quotes

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. - Anonymous

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous

Love Quotes Sayings Top 100

Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out. Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.'

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.' Anonymous

Computers Top 100

They say money doesn't solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine. Anonymous

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. Anonymous

If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don't open it. It's spam - Anonymous

If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don't open it. It's spam Anonymous

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. - Anonymous

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Sayings

Less is more, unless it's kindness, sleep, or toilet paper. Anonymous

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

That moment you're thankful for Coronavirus social distancing rules because you just ate some garlic. Anonymous

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Anonymous

Know Quotes People Quotes Sayings

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