Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Eat Quotes
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. - Anonymous
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
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My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. - Anonymous
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it. Anonymous
Sayings
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. - Anonymous
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. - Anonymous
Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
I wish my wallet came with free refills. - Anonymous
I wish my wallet came with free refills. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? - Anonymous
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? Anonymous
Questions Top 100
The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! - Anonymous
The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us. - Anonymous
Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. - Anonymous
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. - Anonymous
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. Anonymous

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