Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it. Anonymous
Sayings
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100
I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games.
I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games. Anonymous
Computers Life Quotes
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. - Anonymous
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I wish my wallet came with free refills. - Anonymous
I wish my wallet came with free refills. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Statements
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. - Anonymous
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. - Anonymous
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. Anonymous
Top 100 Witty Quotes
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
Top 100
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts? - Anonymous
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts? Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Sleep Quotes
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

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