Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Stupid Quotes
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. - Anonymous
I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. Anonymous
Short Quotes Statements Time Quotes
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Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. - Anonymous
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. - Anonymous
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion. Anonymous
Facebook Moments Short Quotes
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. - Anonymous
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. - Anonymous
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. Anonymous
Life Quotes
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Sleep Quotes
Please cancel my subscription to your issues. - Anonymous
Please cancel my subscription to your issues. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. - Anonymous
Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

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