Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Dear Humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet.

Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. Anonymous

Computers Internet Top 100

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? - Anonymous

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? Anonymous

Questions Top 100

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? - Anonymous

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? Anonymous

Top 100 Witty Quotes

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. - Anonymous

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Short Quotes

Cheer myself up.

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous

Moments Time Quotes Top 100

Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Anonymous

Money Quotes Stupid Quotes

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous

Drinking Statements

What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.

What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. - Anonymous

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. Anonymous

Money Quotes Top 100

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Top 100

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money. - Anonymous

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. - Anonymous

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. - Anonymous

Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

I'm tired of adding 'LOL' to the end of my texts for sensitive people. I said what I said, deal with it. Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. - Anonymous

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Top 100

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions Top 100

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous

What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. Anonymous

Animals Questions Short Quotes

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous

If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! - Anonymous

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! Anonymous

Facebook Top 100

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? - Anonymous

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. - Anonymous

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. Anonymous

Facebook Internet Life Quotes