Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain. - Anonymous
Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain. Anonymous
Life Quotes
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. Anonymous
Animals Questions Short Quotes
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge. - Anonymous
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic. - Anonymous
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people. Anonymous
Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating. Anonymous
Short Quotes
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! - Anonymous
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! Anonymous
Moments
I can't wait for that to never happen. - Anonymous
I can't wait for that to never happen. Anonymous
Never Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. - Anonymous
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes People Quotes
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. - Anonymous
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes

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