Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. - Anonymous

Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. Anonymous

Analogies Money Quotes

Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! - Anonymous

Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes People Quotes

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. - Anonymous

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. Anonymous

Facebook People Quotes Top 100

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." - Anonymous

I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. - Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. Anonymous

Know Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. - Anonymous

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. - Anonymous

For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. Anonymous

Love Quotes People Quotes

A person who always disturbs you is a person who loves you. Anonymous

Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. - Anonymous

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes

Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? Anonymous

Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes

A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. - Anonymous

A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. Anonymous

Analogies Short Quotes Top 100

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous

Animals Phone Stupid Quotes

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours?

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Funny Tree Quotes

Hold on, let me overthink this. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous

Animals TV Quotes Top 100

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? - Anonymous

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? Anonymous

Questions Top 100

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day. - Anonymous

Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Internet Lazy Quotes

They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it.

They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves. Anonymous

Happy Quotes Money Quotes

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous

Animals Sayings Short Quotes

Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better.

Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :)
Life: LOL, give me a second! Anonymous

Life Quotes Time Quotes