Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?

Short Quotes Top 100 Questions

Friendship quote - Real friends walks in when the rest walk out

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Short Quotes Friend Quotes World Quotes

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Life Quotes Work Quotes Drinking

I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. - Anonymous

I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

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Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Stupid Quotes Money Quotes

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?

Questions Sayings

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible. - Anonymous

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

Short Quotes Sayings Math Quotes

Just because it's a bad idea doesn't mean it won't be a good time. - Anonymous

Just because it's a bad idea doesn't mean it won't be a good time.

Short Quotes Good Quotes

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. - Anonymous

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess.

Short Quotes Lazy Quotes

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I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Analogies Drinking Wife Quotes

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.

Stupid Quotes Life Quotes Happy Quotes

$I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. - Anonymous$

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Short Quotes Sayings Math Quotes

I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous

I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend.

Top 100 Work Quotes

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

Short Quotes Life Quotes Top 100

Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. - Anonymous

Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there.

Good Quotes Friend Quotes

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Short Quotes Top 100 Lazy Quotes