Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. - Anonymous

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. Anonymous

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long? - Anonymous

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long? Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm. Anonymous

$Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.$

Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math. Anonymous

Math Quotes Moments People Quotes

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. - Anonymous

My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Anonymous

Money Quotes Stupid Quotes

Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears. Anonymous

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. - Anonymous

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous

Internet People Quotes Top 100

If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don't open it. It's spam - Anonymous

If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don't open it. It's spam Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." - Anonymous

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Top 100

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I'll let you do my job. Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous

Animals Questions Top 100

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. - Anonymous

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. - Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Love Quotes

What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? Anonymous

Love Quotes Money Quotes Top 100

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money. - Anonymous

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once." - Anonymous

I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once." Anonymous

Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes