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Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

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Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.

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Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.

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No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

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Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.

Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.

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Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

George Burns

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The future is not what it once used to be...

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

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It's so simple to be wise.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

Sam Levenson

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I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

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You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.

Anonymous

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I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

Anonymous

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I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Anonymous

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People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.

Anonymous

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