Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation. - Anonymous

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation.

Anonymous

Life Quotes
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. - Anonymous

Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them.

Anonymous

Short QuotesTop 100Best Quotes
You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. - Anonymous

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Anonymous

Top 100Sayings
Don't invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed. - Anonymous

Don't invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Anonymous

Top 100Sayings

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True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together.

Anonymous

Short QuotesFriend Quotes
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. - Anonymous

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.

Anonymous

Short QuotesMoney Quotes
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. - Anonymous

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep.

Anonymous

Top 100Lazy QuotesSleep Quotes
I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there's a small hole in the bag somewhere. - Anonymous

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there's a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Anonymous

Top 100Sayings
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. - Anonymous

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Anonymous

Short QuotesAnalogiesMath Quotes
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. - Anonymous

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Anonymous

Top 100Sleep Quotes

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I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. - Anonymous

I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Anonymous

Short QuotesSayingsNever Quotes
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.

Anonymous

Wise QuotesSayingsKnow Quotes
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

Anonymous

Stupid QuotesSayingsWorld Quotes
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous

Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase.

Anonymous

Top 100Questions
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. - Anonymous

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Anonymous

Stupid QuotesKnow QuotesPeople Quotes
I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once." - Anonymous

I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once."

Anonymous

Short QuotesLife QuotesLive Quotes
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Anonymous

Short QuotesWork QuotesSayings
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

Anonymous

Sayings

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