Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. - Anonymous
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. - Anonymous
Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Dog Quotes
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous
Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes
Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. - Anonymous
Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Anonymous
Life Quotes Phone Short Quotes
All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous
Cat Quotes Dog Quotes
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.
The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion.
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Witty Quotes
I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I'd just love to punch right in the face! - Anonymous
I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I'd just love to punch right in the face! Anonymous
Life Quotes Love Quotes People Quotes
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. - Anonymous
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job. Anonymous
Think Quotes Work Quotes
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. - Anonymous
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it.
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Money Quotes
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

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