Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Going in a teen's room is like going to Ikea. You pop in to take a look and come out with 4 bowls, 6 cups, a set of plates, and some cutlery. Anonymous
Don't blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August. - Anonymous
Don't blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous
Work Quotes
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I'm staying up past midnight this New Year's eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over. Anonymous
Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. - Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I don't know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours. Anonymous
Love Quotes
I'm so tired of saying "Oh darn, forgot to put on my mask." Like I'm Batman or something. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Auto-correct is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things. Anonymous
My brain says "Let's do something exciting today" but my body says "Don't listen to that fool." Anonymous
I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won't kill it, I'd buy another house. Anonymous
Money Quotes
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Anonymous
Wife Quotes
If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Don't scare me, I fart easily. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes

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