A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn?
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.
You can't run through a campground. You can only "ran," because it's past tents.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
What's your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more.
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet.
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.
I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough.
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate.
I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?
Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.
What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it.
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.
Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I'm ducking so it hits someone else.
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
I can't finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.
I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.
Cool Funny Quotes
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2020