Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Top 100
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going. Anonymous
Sayings
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection. - Anonymous
The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection. Anonymous
Computers Love Quotes People Quotes
How was the dog's day? Ruff. - Anonymous
How was the dog's day? Ruff. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
I'd take a nerf bullet for you. - Anonymous
I'd take a nerf bullet for you. Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." - Anonymous
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this." Anonymous
Facebook Top 100
Dear mathematicians: Stop asking us to find your x. She has a new boyfriend. Anonymous
Math Quotes Short Quotes
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Top 100
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous
Animals Love Quotes Top 100
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Anonymous
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Anonymous
Animals Top 100
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous
Sayings
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

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