Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. - Anonymous
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. Anonymous
Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway. Anonymous
Drinking People Quotes Short Quotes
My brain says "Let's do something exciting today" but my body says "Don't listen to that fool." Anonymous
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When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer... Anonymous
Animals
I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It's called being hungry. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like "just kidding." Anonymous
Moments Sleep Quotes
I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse... except for money. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
"Made with love," means I licked the spoon and kept using it. - Anonymous
"Made with love," means I licked the spoon and kept using it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. - Anonymous
I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same! Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It's dead yarn now though. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn't leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn't loan them out to strangers. Anonymous
Computers
If you think nobody cares that you're alive try missing a couple of payments. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. - Anonymous
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous. - Anonymous
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes

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