Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. - Anonymous
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation. - Anonymous
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. - Anonymous
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can't eat anything when I'm asleep! Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sleep Quotes
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Short Quotes
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Anonymous
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car. Anonymous
Man Quotes Marriage Quotes
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." - Anonymous
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

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