Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' - Anonymous
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' Anonymous
Top 100 Witty Quotes
Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard. Anonymous
Life Quotes
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I feel the best when I am happy.
I feel the best when I am happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Happy New Year! Here's to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons. Anonymous
Facebook
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. - Anonymous
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous
Animals Sayings Short Quotes
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Statements
The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. - Anonymous
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." - Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." Anonymous
Facebook Friend Quotes Top 100
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. - Anonymous
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
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