Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? - Anonymous

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn?

Questions Short Quotes

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. - Anonymous

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.

Money Quotes Top 100

You can't run through a campground. You can only "ran," because it's past tents.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Sayings Top 100

What's your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.

Money Quotes Questions Short Quotes

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Questions Short Quotes

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. - Anonymous

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. - Anonymous

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more.

Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. - Anonymous

Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet.

Internet Top 100 Witty Quotes

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. - Anonymous

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Internet Life Quotes

I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough.

Sayings Think Quotes

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous

I put the "Pro" in procrastinate.

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. - Anonymous

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? - Anonymous

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?

Questions Top 100

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it.

Questions Short Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I'm ducking so it hits someone else. - Anonymous

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I'm ducking so it hits someone else.

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.

Love Quotes Sayings Top 100

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I can't finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once. - Anonymous

I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

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