Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. - Anonymous
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could! Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
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When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes Top 100
Don't rush me, I'm still deciding whether I'll be productive or not today! Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Statements
Actual meanings of various terms.
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
 Anonymous
Money Quotes Stupid Quotes Work Quotes
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them. - Anonymous
I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous. - Anonymous
Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous
Drinking Statements
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. - Anonymous
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous
Sayings Wise Quotes
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Happy New Year! Here's to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons. Anonymous
Facebook
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous
Questions Sayings Short Quotes
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Top 100

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