Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. - Anonymous

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. - Anonymous

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math. - Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." - Anonymous

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Top 100

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. - Anonymous

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous

The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window. - Anonymous

The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window. Anonymous

Computers Short Quotes

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. - Anonymous

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty.

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes Money Quotes

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. - Anonymous

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous

Sayings Wise Quotes

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? Anonymous

Love Quotes Money Quotes Top 100

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

If you like water then you already like 70% of me. Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Anonymous

Money Quotes Stupid Quotes

I already want to take a nap tomorrow. - Anonymous

I already want to take a nap tomorrow. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.

If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous

Life Quotes People Quotes Top 100

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous

Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes

Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day. - Anonymous

Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Internet Lazy Quotes

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

You can teach a cat to do...

You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

Honestly, I don't even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I'm like "I guess this is what we're doing now." Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous

Questions Sayings

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

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