Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Ever looked at your ex and wondered... was I drunk the entire relationship? Anonymous

Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes

A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own.

A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own. Anonymous

Moments Short Quotes

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money. - Anonymous

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.

My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all. Anonymous

Sayings Stupid Quotes Top 100

I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks. Anonymous

Dog Quotes Life Quotes

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous

Know Quotes Moments People Quotes

The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us. - Anonymous

The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us. Anonymous

Life Quotes Never Quotes Statements

Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? - Anonymous

Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous

Moments Questions Short Quotes

I wonder what people do with all the time they save by writing "K" instead of "OK." Anonymous

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. - Anonymous

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Life Quotes

When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous

When nothing is going right, go left. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous

Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous

Sayings Sleep Quotes

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes

When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.

When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. Anonymous

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking World Quotes

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." - Anonymous

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Top 100

Smile like a monkey with a new banana. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. - Anonymous

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. - Anonymous

I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money. Anonymous

Money Quotes Top 100

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you. Anonymous

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