Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. - Anonymous

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking World Quotes

Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. - Anonymous

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. Anonymous

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out. Anonymous

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... - Anonymous

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... Anonymous

People Quotes Phone Stupid Quotes

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! - Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad! Anonymous

Questions Sayings Short Quotes

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take.

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. Anonymous

Life Quotes Moments Top 100

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? - Anonymous

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Top 100

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. - Anonymous

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. Anonymous

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

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