Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching.
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. Anonymous
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car. Anonymous
Man Quotes Marriage Quotes
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. - Anonymous
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Wise Quotes
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I wish my wallet came with free refills. - Anonymous
I wish my wallet came with free refills. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. - Anonymous
Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say. Anonymous
Never Quotes Statements Time Quotes
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. - Anonymous
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? Anonymous
Life Quotes
I'm not sure what is more scary these days, checking my temperature or checking my weight. Anonymous

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