Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after. - Anonymous

My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after.

Top 100 Friend Quotes

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. - Anonymous

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

Short Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

Short Quotes Sayings

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Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. - Anonymous

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double.

Short Quotes Drinking Beer Quotes

That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said. - Anonymous

That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said.

Top 100 Moments

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous

I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it. - Anonymous

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Top 100 Moments

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

Stupid Quotes Drinking Beer Quotes

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.

Short Quotes Sayings

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If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

Animals Statements Sayings

The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.

The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.

Life Quotes Top 100 Math Quotes

When nothing is going right, go left. - Anonymous

When nothing is going right, go left.

Short Quotes Sayings

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. - Anonymous

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more.

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? - Anonymous

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.

Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients. - Anonymous

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.

Short Quotes Top 100 Eat Quotes

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