Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet. - Anonymous
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet. Anonymous
Internet Sleep Quotes
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. - Anonymous
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes
Sponsored Links
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. - Anonymous
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. - Anonymous
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. Anonymous
Sayings
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
Top 100 Work Quotes
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. - Anonymous
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
If only my teeth were as white as my legs. - Anonymous
If only my teeth were as white as my legs. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
Questions
Men are like bank accounts.<br/> Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. - Anonymous
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23. Anonymous

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