Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
Anonymous
Honestly, I don't even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I'm like "I guess this is what we're doing now."
Anonymous
I don't understand people who say "I don't know how to thank you." Like they never heard of money.
Anonymous
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!"
Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.
Anonymous
Kids: How come the closet is completely full of toilet paper? Me: We're getting 3 cats, we have to pad all the walls in the house.
Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running.
Anonymous
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Anonymous
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.
Anonymous
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.
Anonymous
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
Anonymous