Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. - Anonymous

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous

Internet People Quotes Top 100

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you're talking and not hear a single word you said. Anonymous

When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. - Anonymous

When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Anonymous

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes

I hate it when people ask me to watch their stuff. Like what happens if someone comes and actually tries to steal it? Do I have to fight them? I'm not ready. Anonymous

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous

Animals Love Quotes Top 100

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. - Anonymous

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Statements

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Top 100 Wife Quotes

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom. - Anonymous

Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous

Questions Sayings

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Think Quotes

How to do sit-ups: Lay down, hands behind your head. Wow, this is a good position for a nap. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions Top 100

When you fall, I will be there to catch you.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough. Anonymous

Sayings Think Quotes

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous

Sayings Stupid Quotes

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100 Work Quotes

It's hard to find a friend who is 95% talented, 96% funny, 98% loving, 99% intelligent and 100% sweet. So don't you dare lose me! Anonymous

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