Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes
If one door closes and another door opens... your house is probably haunted. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. - Anonymous
In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back. Anonymous
Animals
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling.
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Anonymous
Analogies
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
Animals TV Quotes Top 100
I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. - Anonymous
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Questions
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Sayings
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. - Anonymous
Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

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