Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.
Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.
Anonymous
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I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.
Anonymous
Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out.
Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend.
Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!"
Anonymous
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.
Anonymous
One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says "Smell this," it usually smells nice.
Anonymous














