Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. - Anonymous
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. - Anonymous
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. - Anonymous
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. Anonymous
Questions
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Phone
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. - Anonymous
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Anonymous
Money Quotes People Quotes Sayings
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Sayings
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Think Quotes
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous
Animals Sayings Short Quotes
My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever. - Anonymous
My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever. Anonymous
Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... - Anonymous
Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. - Anonymous
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Anonymous
Analogies Never Quotes Short Quotes
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! - Anonymous
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
Computers Marriage Quotes Never Quotes

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