Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous
Top 100 Work Quotes
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous
Sayings
I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. - Anonymous
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life. Anonymous
Short Quotes
You know you're mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs. Anonymous
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. - Anonymous
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? - Anonymous
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do. - Anonymous
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! - Anonymous
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
If you think nobody cares that you're alive try missing a couple of payments. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes

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