Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous

Love Quotes Sayings Top 100

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro. Anonymous

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night. Anonymous

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. - Anonymous

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example. Anonymous

Sayings Top 100

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous

Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'

I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous

Know Quotes Moments People Quotes

It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? Anonymous

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can't make coffee without water. Anonymous

It's hard to find a friend who is 95% talented, 96% funny, 98% loving, 99% intelligent and 100% sweet. So don't you dare lose me! Anonymous

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous

Drinking Questions Stupid Quotes

God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face. Anonymous

Life Quotes Top 100

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. - Anonymous

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous

Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: Perfect, we're setting up tent here. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes

Here's human empathy for you: Things die all over our windshields and we're like, "Man, I just washed this!" Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. - Anonymous

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Anonymous

Good Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I'm not bored of being quarantined, last night I even struck up a conversation with a spider. Turns out he's a web designer. Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings

I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. Anonymous

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous

Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

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