Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. Anonymous

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation? Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I survived the great toilet paper scare of 2020. Anonymous

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. - Anonymous

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous

Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes Sayings

I'm dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt. Anonymous

I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous

I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid. Anonymous

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up. - Anonymous

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up. Anonymous

Computers Short Quotes

They say time is the solution to every problem. I've been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy. - Anonymous

They say time is the solution to every problem. I've been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy. Anonymous

I would've never imaged going into a bank wearing a mask and asking the teller for money. Anonymous

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? - Anonymous

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth. Anonymous

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse... except for money. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous

Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I'm looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I've been tired since 2010. Anonymous

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work. Anonymous

Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes

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