Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy. - Anonymous
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings
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Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. - Anonymous
Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Statements
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. - Anonymous
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. Anonymous
Happy New Year! Here's to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons. Anonymous
Facebook
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Know Quotes
A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with...
A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous
Animals Sayings Short Quotes
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. - Anonymous
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. Anonymous
Life Quotes

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