Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

Short Quotes People Quotes

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double.

Short Quotes Beer Quotes

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

Short Quotes Sayings

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

Short Quotes Sayings

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My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

Short Quotes Lazy Quotes Sayings

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

Wise Quotes Never Quotes

Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there.

Know Quotes Good Quotes Friend Quotes

But when you fart just one time...

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time...

Sayings Time Quotes Happy Quotes

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Facebook

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

Short Quotes Statements People Quotes

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Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.

Short Quotes Sayings

When nothing is going right, go left.

Short Quotes Sayings

I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem?

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again.

Short Quotes Know Quotes Love Quotes

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Wise Quotes Know Quotes Time Quotes

My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Short Quotes Life Quotes Never Quotes

Friendship is like peeing on yourself.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Analogies Friend Quotes

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