Top 100 Funny Quotes
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."
Anonymous
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Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
Anonymous
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
Anonymous
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it.
Anonymous
Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'?
Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.
Anonymous
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
Anonymous
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
Anonymous
Displayed 31-45 of 400 quotes.














