You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
Louis Hector Berlioz
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2020