There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Woody Allen
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. Albert Einstein
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Anonymous
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous