Top 100 Funny Quotes

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If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings
My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after. - Anonymous
My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes
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Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. - Anonymous
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes
We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. - Anonymous
We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Know Quotes Short Quotes
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday. - Anonymous
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous
I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. Anonymous
People Quotes
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes TV Quotes
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe. - Anonymous
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do. - Anonymous
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do. Anonymous
Math Quotes
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Anonymous
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Anonymous
Animals
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. - Anonymous
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Work Quotes
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