Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. - Anonymous
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. - Anonymous
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. Anonymous
Short Quotes
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. - Anonymous
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
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I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. - Anonymous
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous
Animals Love Quotes
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - Anonymous
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. Anonymous
Phone Sayings
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. - Anonymous
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. - Anonymous
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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