George Carlin Quote
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein