George Carlin Quote

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

I noticed you are not noticing me.

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!"

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.