George Carlin Quote

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

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The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry

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Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous

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I noticed you are not noticing me. - Anonymous

I noticed you are not noticing me. Anonymous

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You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous

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Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous

It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous

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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein

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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous

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Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

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Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? - Anonymous

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Anonymous

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Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? - Anonymous

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Anonymous

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You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous

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What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? - Anonymous

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Anonymous

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Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

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How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous

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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Anonymous

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Anonymous

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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein

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I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

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