George Carlin Quote

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Albert Einstein

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Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

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The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

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Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

Albert Einstein

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Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? - Anonymous

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

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Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? - Anonymous

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

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You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?

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What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? - Anonymous

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

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Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

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How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?

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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Anonymous

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein

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I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

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Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!

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Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."

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When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'

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When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.

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You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

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