Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?"
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
He who laughs.....lasts.
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.
Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day.
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