Anonymous Quote

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Anonymous

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

Anonymous

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

Anonymous

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

Anonymous

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.

Anonymous

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

Anonymous

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.

Anonymous

He who laughs.....lasts.

Erma Bombeck

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Anonymous

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

Anonymous

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.

Anonymous

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.

Anonymous

Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.

Anonymous

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.

Anonymous

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

Anonymous

Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day.

Anonymous

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.

Anonymous

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

Anonymous

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

Anonymous