Anonymous Quote

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

Steven Alexander Wright

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?

Anonymous

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Anonymous

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

Anonymous

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

Anonymous

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Anonymous

Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.

Anonymous

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

Anonymous

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Anonymous

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

Sam Levenson

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

Steven Alexander Wright

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

Anonymous