Top 100 Funny Quotes

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Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous
It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. - Anonymous
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Statements
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Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side. - Anonymous
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. - Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. Anonymous
Drinking Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' - Anonymous
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' Anonymous
Witty Quotes
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Walter Bagehot

Life Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. - Anonymous
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
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