Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
More Quotes by Anonymous
After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing.
An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job.
If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
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