Anonymous Quote

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.

Anonymous

Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes.

Anonymous

If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson

Simpsons

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

John Gotti

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

Anonymous

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

Anonymous

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

Anonymous

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

Anonymous

There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Anonymous

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.

Anonymous

How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.

Anonymous

When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.

Anonymous

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Dave Barry

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Steven Alexander Wright

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.

Anonymous

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

Drew Carey