My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.
You're never too old to do goofy stuff.
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
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