Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there.
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.
Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.
I love all mythical creatures... vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold.
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.
Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through.
Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?
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