I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice?
I'll call it a smartphone when I yell "Where's my phone?" and it yells back "Down here in the couch cushions!"
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
Beginner pilot rules:
1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games.
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness.
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test.
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
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