I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.
For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart.
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year!
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.
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