Anonymous Quote

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Anonymous

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

Groucho Marx

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

Steven Alexander Wright

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

Anonymous

We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.

Kevin Garnett

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Steven Alexander Wright

You never run out of things that can go wrong.

Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.

Anonymous

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.

Anonymous

Don't press your luck, you might pop it.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

Mark Twain

Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.

Anonymous

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Anonymous

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

Steven Alexander Wright

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Marilyn Monroe

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.

Anonymous