Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'
More Quotes by Henny Youngman
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.
Beginner pilot rules:
1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler?
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.
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